I'll be...hmm what will I be?

You know how when you were younger, people would always ask what you wanted to be when you grew up. Do you ever wonder, now as a grown up, what you'll really be. I know I still do. I always thought I'd be married with kids living in my little home town, with a nice stable career. A quaint little life.

Funny how life happens.

Despite all you planned, all you'd hoped for, life really does happen and take on a whole "life" of it's own.

I'm not really sure what it is I'm feeling. A tinge of sadness, of melancholy, nostalgia, loneliness and who knows what other silly emotions. It sounds so cliche but it's like one day you just wake up and realize you're much older than what you used to be and half the stuff you'd planned on accomplishing hasn't been accomplished or just isn't all that important anymore.

Time seems to have zoomed by. I've done the marriage thing. Been there, done that. I'm divorced now thank you very much. Kids, I've get em. Career, well I'll have that. Some day. Gotta finish the whole edumacation thing first. And honestly, my life is nothing like I thought it would be. Nothing. At all. I'm still tryin' to figure out if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

I finally did get my degree. I hope to start working on the next step in my education soon. Not married, but I do have my girls. But still no relationship to speak of. Which is really startin' bum me out. lol. I have to admit, it would be kinda nice to have someone just to be there when stuff gets icky. Heh, icky, mommy word. Then there are those times when I'm really glad I don't have to deal with the stresses of a relationship on top of everything else.

Oh well, c'est la vie. I keep hoping it will turn out better than I had planned it to. I guess only time will tell.